So what’s next Lorna? Oh dear, I’m actually speaking to myself. I recall many moons ago, while I was driving my car on my way to the supermarket, I was thinking out loud and enumerating the list that I’m suppose to buy on that day. My daughter, then 10 years old, sitting at the back caught my attention and said ‘Mama, that’s dangerous’, and I asked ‘why’? She replied ‘ you’re talking to yourself’, now slap your two cheeks’ implying that I’ve gone deranged or doomed for dementing, ergo, I need to slap my face.
You probably think I’m becoming a loony or perhaps gradually losing my sanity, so to speak. Yes, correct. My daughter is leaving home in two weeks and I find myself rearranging the furnitures, throwing unwanted and unused stuff that I’ve accumulated every time I go out shopping for her, usually for her, not for me. Well, that’s how moms are, children become your priority above all else, forgetting that one day, kids will grow and will eventually find their destiny or soul-search, (which I myself has been doing a lot lately) and tell their parents, break the sad news that they’re moving out. I prepared myself for this. I gathered some amount of emotional, mental, psychological, most of all spiritual strength so that when that day arrives, I’m ok. I wish my husband was here to comfort me, and as a single mom, the thought of being away from your one and only child is doubly heart-wrenching. Indeed, the cliche ‘easier said than done’ certainly is true.
After her graduation ceremony, we go separate ways. I’ll go back to my house, and pretty sure will be empty nesting, while she flaps her wings and prepares to conquer the world and all its’ intricacies and complexities.
I’m letting her go with an open heart and wrote a to-do list while she starts enjoying freedom.
1) To check on me once in a while, to find out if I’m not deceased yet.
2) Pray everyday
3) Find the nearest church
4) Choose your friends in business
5) Not to forget her vitamins
6) Remind her that I will always be a call away, anytime she needs me. As in anytime.
We have a joint account as well, just in case she runs out of cash, withdrawing would be convenient. Separate ATMs. The bond will stay forever. I’m still paying her phone bills, until she decides to get married, (who knows when and who). There you go! The answer to my question. What’s next? Continue to be a mom, only on a different level. Besides being her mom forever, I will be her friend, her advisor, her mentor as she enters into the world of capitalist corporate world where monsters live out there to devour the newbies. My daughter is a fighter, a survivor even at a very ripe age. What can I say, I’m her mother. I’m here for her to memorialize that I will be 2 steps behind her forever. The journey continues.