Love is All that Matters

Next to singing, writing is my passion. I wrote a couple of blogs many years ago about my career, how people see me as a musician, as a vocal coach as a person, as a woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend and many other things. I focused on nothing but myself. What really mattered to me then is what I think and not what other people think which I thought was just right. I wrote hate blogs so I can express my feelings more without actually confronting the person vis a vis, while maintaining ethics in journalism. Doing my best not to name names, venues and what not. I was having a ball. But not until 2 years ago when my husband passed away because of a very dreadful disease called the Big C. He was dying. And this is what I wrote after he was buried.
What really matters to you the most? Quite a difficult question to answer. You study hard, work hard, build a great family, and in one shot, they’re ALL GONE. You seem to be on your way to oblivion. All the things that mattered to you, to oblivion. You want to make a choice..That ONE choice to be HAPPY, and you think you’re doing a great job by denying things and putting on a happy face all the time, TRUTH is, you’re confused, disoriented, disappointed, feeling guilty for a reason you don’t even know, or in other words, EMPTY. It’s the saddest feeling one can have. Me, I’m doing my best to really get back to my SANITY..Seems to me there’s a powerful force trying so hard to pull me down and feel EMPTY no matter what i do. I so believe in absolute faith and that if I call on to God, life would be and its’ intricacies would be easier to handle. I ask you all, what are we on earth for?
Remind me and Enlighten me, please…
This is how desperate I was then, and not many people can read it. Thank you WordPress, now I can write better articles (and publish as well) that will hopefully reach out to many people. My life as a vocalist/vocal coach, a musician, a lyricist, a performer, a friend, an observer of the world would hopefully inspire other people to express themselves better through writing or performing and eventually contribute something in their own small ways to make this world a better place to live for. I now realized that there’s always a reason behind everything. Dwelling on my beloved husband’s death will not make him rest in peace. I heard an inner voice telling me what I’m here for. To share the gift, to inspire would be musicians/vocalists , to be a good mother to my daughter, to be a good daughter to my parents, a sister to my brother and a true friend. Kindness and Love to all. That’s what really matters.

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